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DISCLAIMER – I am in no way a qualified mental health professional, I am simply just someone who suffers from mental illnesses and has a little knowledge on the subject. if anything I write is inaccurate please sound of down below!

Before I start this blog I just wanted to say that today is Mental Health Awareness Week (October 7 – 13), it is so important to spread awareness about mental health, some people are so scared to even seek help because of the stigma wrongly attached to mental health. The more people spread awareness the more we can change that stigma and help more people! We need to all come together and  be there for one and other.

Okay so the next couple of blogs are going to be a little different in terms of layout. For this….erm lets call it a “series” I will be doing them in a sort of college assignment layout with subheadings, bullet points, etc, instead of me just writing the way I would speak. For this first part I will be going into detail about Antisocial Personality Disorder (sociopathy), this will be a long blog as will the next few.

IF YOU WANT TO SKIP THE TERMONOLOGY, BULLET POINTS AND SHIT GO TO COMMON MYTHS AND FACTS.

A General Description of Antisocial Personality Disorder

With all personality disorders they affect how the individual thinks, perceives, feels and relates to other people. People with Antisocial Personality Disorder are typically manipulative and reckless, like I mentioned in my last blog Antisocial Personality Disorder is on a spectrum of severity.

 Textbook Signs Of Antisocial Personality Disorder

• Repeatedly break the law (thinking they are above the law)
• Lack of guilt
• Violate, exploit and manipulate the rights of others
• Uncontrollable anger
• Irresponsible
• Disregard for normal social behavior
• No remorse/Empathy
• Difficulty keeping long-term relationships/friendships
• No responsibility
• Violent
• Large ego (thinking they are better than everyone else)
• Impulsive

 

Who Is More Likely To Develop Antisocial Personality Disorder?

As far as statistics go Antisocial Personality Disorder affects 1 in 25 people, more men than women. It’s still unknown to why some people develop this disorder and some don’t although both traumatic experiences in childhood and genetics are suspected to play a large part. Parenting is also thought to play a role in the development of Antisocial Personality Disorder for example; The misuse of alcohol by one or both parents, parental conflict, inconsistent parenting which may result in the involvement of Social Services.

 

The Effects Of Antisocial Personality Disorder

So, Antisocial Personality Disorder has major negative effects on not just the individual in which has the disorder but on their friends, family and society around them.  A study showed that people with Antisocial Personality Disorder are more likely to smoke, drink alcohol and abuse drugs than someone without the disorder.

Individuals that suffer from this disorder are also more likely to be diagnosed with other disorders like;

• Depression
• Anxiety
• Bipolar
• PTSD
• ADHD
• Borderline Personality Disorder
• Schizotypal Personality Disorder

Also according to a long-term study in America people with Antisocial Personality Disorder have higher risks of physical conditions like;

• Coronary artery disease
• Arthritis
• Liver disease
• Gastrointestinal disease

 

Common Myths And Facts

Antisocial Personality Disorder is thought of as uncommon when, actually 1 in 25 people have this disorder. that means you know at least one person with an Antisocial Personality Disorder.

Although you probably know a few people with this disorder, your more than likely to never know. They hide their symptoms very well and are known to be amazing liars. They become very good at mimicking emotions as they cant feel or understand them themselves. (Depending on the severity of their diagnosis as some people with this disorder are in fact capable of empathy towards selective people)

Doctors disagree with the term “antisocial” because its often associated with shyness but the term “antisocial” actually came about because the disorder is known to be “anti-society” – behavior that is directed against society.

They break the law, but when people hear this they jump straight to murder and so on but this could be from getting stoned, getting into fights, stealing to yes, murder. Not everyone that is diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder are murders, calm down okay?

They are extremely impulsive and do not think before they act. They do not care about what happens to themselves or others around them. They can understand why others may be feeling the way that they are but they don’t care. They don’t know what it is like to feel them emotions. (depending on the severity, some can feel some sort of empathy towards certain people others cannot)

Not everyone who is diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder are abusive monsters or dangerous. there are two main subcategories for this disorder and they are; High Functioning people with the disorder and Low Functioning people. Low Functioning people with the Antisocial Personality Disorder are on the more severe end of the spectrum. These are the people with complete lack of empathy, they do not feel any sort of emotion for themselves or others around them. They are also more likely to commit murder and be abusive.

Just for a quick example;

 

LOW (nonfunctional) – what everyone thinks of when they hear “sociopath”

Typically when someone thinks of a low sociopath they thing of murders or rapists but that’s not always true. They cannot function on a day to day basis with society, it is common for them to have quiet a low IQ and lack of education. The lack of education comes from not being able to fit into the rules that schools have, this ties in with the lack of emotion and care for anything and anyone, so they usually get kicked out of school and so on.

Due to lack of education they end up lacking the social skill that someone without the disorder would gain and develop from interacting with people through school. From this they can develop a typically explosive temperament, if they do not get what they want they will turn to threatening and manipulating.

They have an extremely hard time thinking ahead and are very impulsive due to the lack of social and problem solving skills. They are always on the defensive because they never want to be on the offensive, a low functioning sociopath is much like a psychopath. They don’t want to wait, they want what they want and they want it good.

A low functioning sociopath will have a very long criminal record they are more than often in and out of prison because they do not have the emotional ability to comprehend the actions and decisions that they make. Low functional sociopaths are compulsive liars and just lie for the fun of it, they will make threatening lies to intimidate others, make themselves seem stronger and make others afraid, they are normally bullies whereas a high functioning sociopath are more likely to lie for defense (defensive lying).

They are also unable to maintain healthy relationships, whether that be friendships, family relationships or romantic relationships.

HIGH (functional) 

First off every high functioning sociopath started off as a low functioning sociopath therefore the statement that “sociopaths cant change, its who they are” is complete bullshit. They will always be a sociopath but they can become a high functioning sociopath with the right help but because there is so little funding not many people end up working with sociopaths and there really isn’t a lot of awareness out there for them! anyway…

Typically they have a high to very high IQ and are normally very educated (does that make sense?) they need constant simulation and they can recognize when they need it because they are high functioning. They can understand to some extent the of their actions and the consequences that come with them.

They are very passive-aggressive, they are not outgoing with their anger they typically keep it inside. They tend to be patient people and hold grudges for a very long time but it is manageable. High functioning sociopaths do plan ahead or at least they try to, it is known that they normally always have a back up plan.

They are typically goal oriented and that is also what makes them high functioning sociopaths because they can take a look at what they are doing and access if that behavior will get them to that goal or if they need to change that behavior.

They also usually have a criminal history but because they are so calculating and think ahead they can avoid that better than a low functioning sociopath, which could also mean that they have done more serious crimes but just didn’t get caught.

They lie but its not compulsive lying, they don’t lie to you just for the sake of it and they are aware that they are doing it. They are known for being defensive liars for example; if they are doing something wrong and they got caught they would have no bother bullshitting themselves out of whatever they were doing.

They can still be manipulative but that is apart of the disorder and diagnosis and high functioning sociopaths can actually maintain relationships although it does take a lot of work and they can be difficult. They maintain these relationships through very strict boundaries, for example; because they are known for how easy they can manipulate people they wont accept gifts or money because they know that its a very slippery slope for them that they don’t want to fall down as it would result in the loss of that relationship.

 

I’m going to leave this blog as it is now, please don’t go around self diagnosing your friends, family or people that you know! And if you know someone that has this disorder remember that they are still a person, just because someone had a diagnosis doesn’t mean that they are not the same person. Everyone is different as are disorders. Everyone deserves respect and they are entitled to that respect. Always remember that everyone is battling with something in their lives that we literally know fuck all about so always be kind.

love, Demi-leigh x

 

 

 

First off I have to make a disclaimer that I am in no way a qualified mental health professional. I am simply just someone who suffers from mental illnesses myself and has a little knowledge about it. If anything I write about is inaccurate or I miss something important then please leave a comment.

Mental illness are like physical illnesses, they are on a continuum of severity ranging from mild to moderate to severe.  More than 16 million people have a mental illness in the UK and over 60 million in America.  Mental illness affects one in four adults and one in five children.

So, there are over 200 classified forms of mental illnesses obviously some are more common and others not many people have heard of. Some of the more common illnesses are;  clinical depression, bipolar disorder, dementia, schizophrenia, anxiety disorders and since the 2016 movie ‘split’ dissociative identity disorder also known as multiple personality disorder.

I hate when people who don’t suffer from mental illnesses say that they find them “interesting” but then again I’m guilty of being obsessed with murder documentaries and isn’t that the same? murderers have some form of a mental illness, we all find things we don’t understand interesting. I myself find antisocial personality disorder to be interesting because I cant wrap my head around some of the traits like not feeling emotion and just projecting the emotions that they see other people feeling. Just because someone has antisocial personality traits doesn’t mean that they are a sociopath though, I have antisocial personality traits that come hand in hand with my borderline personality disorder but I’m not a sociopath, I still have empathy towards others and I feel emotions.

I could literally go on and on about antisocial and narcissistic personality disorders and how they are similar and how they are different but I think I should leave that for a whole other blog. Shane Dawson is currently doing a series on sociopaths that I think if your reading my blogs you would love, I am currently waiting for 8PM for episode 5! I will leave a link down below for anyone who is interested but I would definitely recommend.

Shane Dawson – The Mind Of Jake Paul E1

I really could carry on going in on each disorder but then I would be here for ages and this blog would be the length of a textbook… I think ill definitely go more in depth about different disorders to my understanding of them in other blogs because they are so complicated, nothing at all about mental health is straight forward, no two brains are the same, literally every single person on this earth is different and mental health disorders are the same. If there are over 200 classified forms of disorders and each disorder has a spectrum and the spectrums can cross over into other disorders spectrums, can you even begin to imagine how many different diagnosis’ there are?

Definitely think ill leave this blog as it is now, I can feel myself falling further and further into the rabbit hole that is mental health haha!

Love, Demi-Leigh x

Controversial title that’s bound to stir up some mixed opinions I know.. I know Mental Health is not more serious than cancer but they are just as serious as each other. Suicide rates are through the roof and yet it doesn’t get much attention at all. we all know that suicide happens worldwide due to mental illness and yet next to no one is educated about it.

The World Health Organisation (WHO) estimates that each year approximately one million people die from suicide, which represents a global mortality rate of 16 people per 100,000 or one death every 40 seconds. In the last 45 years suicide rates have increased by 60% worldwide and is in the top three of the leading causes of death for males and females aged 15 to 44 years old.

90% of all suicide deaths are caused by depression, illegal and legal substance abuse and rates amongst teens to young adults have been rising so rapidly that they are now the group with the highest risk in a third of all countries. with 55% being people aged 15 to 44 and 45% being people ages 45 and over. A study showed that the leading causes of suicide are; unemployment, sexual orientation, difficulties with identity and religion.

Nearly 30% of suicide deaths worldwide occur in India and China and yet it’s not heard of, people are not educated enough on mental health and it continues to be pushed to one side and not treated half as serious as it should be. There has been a huge decline of 12% in mental health nurses between 2010 to 2017 and psychiatric beds being reduced by 4% between 2014 to 2017.

The mental health sector is rabidly failing and causing more challenges resulting in far to much use of physical restraint and isolation, detentions under the mental health act have risen a massive 26% between 2012 to 2016!

The huge decline in mental health nurses are causing care facilities to take on less applicable staff especially in private care facilities. less caring and attentive staff are being employed which is resulting in lack of care for patients. There are some reports of patients basically being striped of the dignity and treated like they are lesser people because they have a severe illness! and this is where the cancer part comes in, I am in no way, shape or form saying that mental illnesses are more important than cancerous illnesses but no one would treat a patient with cancer the way that some patients with a mental illness get treated.

Because Cancer is a multi-million pound industry there are adverts and so much education out there about it, mental health on the other hand.. you don’t see any advertising to help suicidal patients. Its fucking horrific and should be treat with the seriousness as all major illnesses!

If you are suffering from a mental illness and need help, please visit the website below and find your suicide prevention hotline.

http://ibpf.org/resource/list-international-suicide-hotlines

Love, Demi-Leigh x

 

 

How do you get over the loss of your child? Carrying him for 25 weeks and 6 days to have him born sleeping. Finding out my little angel had an extremely rare brain condition and was not going to survive. After he fought so hard. All the ups and downs to find out that we couldn’t do anything. At 21 years old I lost the love of my life. My baby. My little Noah James.
I don’t care if no one ever sees this post or if anyone does. Who knows maybe it might help someone else? I don’t know. All I know is that I need to get out how I feel but I can’t tell my family, fiancé or even my friends. It’s too hard.I have tried, multiple times. I feel stupid or silly or even ask myself “is this how I am meant to feel?” “Is it okay to feel like this?” I go through so many emotions a day, sometimes it’s hard to keep up.
Sometimes I feel so useless and that my life is now meaningless. I don’t know what to do anymore, I try to sleep through the days now so that I don’t have to face them. Falling pregnant with Noah James gave my life meaning and changed everything from the moment I found out. I was a mother. I still am a mother. Once he was taken away from me, I lost everything!
I have tried to live my life the way I did before I was pregnant but I don’t enjoy it, it’s not right. I’m not the same person I was ten months ago. I don’t care for going out, I’m not interested at all. I tend to lock myself in my bedroom most of the time. I was so prepared to be a mother, I went through a twenty hour labour and he came double breached all to hold my baby for a little while and then for him to be gone. I have empty arms now. I want my baby.
Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I’m happy for a little while. It doesn’t last long until the guilt creeps in. I feel so guilty because why should I get to laugh when my baby didn’t even get to breathe? It doesn’t feel right being happy when I haven’t got my baby.
I push everyone away now, my family, my partner and my friends. I just want to be alone but hate being alone. I don’t want to talk or have conversations but I hate the silence. I don’t know what I want anymore I don’t know what will take the pain away. All I know is that I want my baby, I want the sleepless nights, the dirty nappies, all the giggles, the cuddles, the first steps and the first words, I want it all. And yet I can’t have it.
I have empty arms now, I have a maternal craving that can’t be met, I feel empty, useless and numb most of the time now and extremely guilty when I don’t.
I’m a mother. I always will be a mother, my baby is just a angel.

how do you get over the loss of your child?💙💙

So I have literally just opened my eyes and thought ‘fuck it, today I’m going to just play about with my makeup’ this thought sounds totally irrelevant to anyone else but then  its not really, try and stay with me and you’ll see where I’m going with this haha.

I haven’t just played with my make up and actually enjoyed it for so long.  Its always been because I HAVE to because I am going somewhere, therefore its always rushed and becomes just another thing that I have to do. Doing something just because you have to takes all of the fun out of it for example; people who love to play a sport, they start doing it because it is their passion but after so long if their parents start to force them to do it or they just keep doing it because they need to, its not fun anymore.

There are so many situations that this happens and we all forget why we started doing what we are doing. I started playing with makeup because I loved all of the possibilities that come with it, smokey eyes, earthy tones, bright colours! it is a way to express yourself and I love it! but it has honestly been so long since I actually done it for fun.

Another way you can think of it is with eating, I know this sounds crazy but stay with me. When you wake up and you need to go to work or school and you are rushed, can you even remember what your breakfast tasted like? yeah sure you knew what it was but did you actually taste it? we all need to take time in what we are doing and do it all mindfully. Mindfulness is a skill that we all forget to practice.

The moral of the story that I am trying to get at and failing miserably is to have fun! what sort of a life do we have if we never take a little time to enjoy it? its the little things that matter like, playing about with makeup or simply to take time to enjoy a meal.

love, Demi-Leigh x

 

So today I am having one of those days where my anxiety is through the roof… I have a horrible sickly feeling in my stomach and couldn’t think of anything worse than leaving my bedroom. I know the more I sit and dwell in it, the worse it gets.

I physically cant distract myself by going for a walk because the thought of crossing my front door literally has me on the edge of a panic attack. So instead I started cleaning my make up brushes and I have ALOT! Any Woman, Man, Girl or Boy who is into make up knows how long it takes to properly clean and dry your brushes! it literally took me three hours! but it worked, I completely distracted myself for three hours, granted after a while it starts to take the piss haha!

It doesn’t matter what you use to distract yourself as long as it works, I know for some people they colour in mindfulness colouring books to take their mind off the mental spiral that they are in others go for a run or a walk along the beach.

I know how serious things can get if we just let ourselves go deeper and deeper in the spiral so having absolutely anything to prevent that is so important. visit my ‘let me know what’s on your mind‘ page and let me know some of your distraction methods!

Love, Demi-leigh x